my life

let me tell you what my life is like:

My life is like a stressful exsistance where the stress is positive, constructive enhancment. Meaning, when things are going in a good direction I am stressed. I have a new job, one that would ideally be considered a "good job" A job that offers 40 hours a week, overtime, good pay, (benefits?) Insurance, Paid time off. I am not thankful for this job. I don't feel better about myself because I work, my free time is more valuable than working. My job is a night position in a group home for mentally handicaped persons. Mildly retarted and not in need of any phisical services luckily! I gave up my weekend nights thursday friday saturday and sunday night 11 pm till 9 am. This being only the second week of this I have come to ralize a few things. One being that this is the most ridiculas job in the world I litteralyy watch roseane for up to 4 hours a night and get paid for it. The hours fly by, the days fly by to the point I can't tell the difference. I get off of work and have a nap and do whatever but when I return to work i feel as if i never left. I feel confused from lack of sleep. most of novemeber and december it felt as if my world was coming to piecies for many reasons. i really want to get my shit together and get my hustle on, start buring those dvds get someplace in life

The dude got the advise from his dying father that "you can't make it in life 100% ligitimately."
here are some money making schemes I am involved in or starting soon

the pretzels ( a band, will pretzel
writing a christmas song
a zine (rochester teen set, the outsider,
aids (synthetic hiv study) yes i have aids

fill in the sentence thingy

Sometimes: I want to update this journal but don't
No one realizes: life isn't something you need to push or rush
I am so: full of unexplored ideas
People think: i am a scammer
Tonight I: ate tooo much food
It is hard to believe: how fast time flies when it slowly creeps by
I realized that: all matters must be attended to
More than before: I realise the untapped potential of media
Obviously: no one has a easy travel
I can not stop: my need to buy junk
Nothing matters if: you can meet your expectations
All I want is: proper character development
Without even thinking: i know my place
It is clear to me that: things aren't as bad as they want you to think they are
I don't know: how people can be weak minded
The only way: to live is in the moment
It's hard to tell: when the next turning point is
The only person: I want to know more about is crispin glover
It kills me that: I can't make all my friends happy
If I were: the president I would fill the white house with so much cool junk
It is not that I: don't want to fight, i just don't want to bleed today
If someone said: who's your favorite wrestler? id say necro butcher
My life: will amount to something
One thing I know is: you can talk your way out
I would never: rat my friends out
I can not stand: middle aged white guys with limps
I'm sick of: this survey
I'm afraid of: nothing
The best: time to go to bed is 4 am
It's weird that: things fall into place
I do not have enough: time
I need: to find a song on a cd for lindsey
I love: life and all it's pursuits
I tried: to work our the details
I am starting to:get ready for cold weather
For some reason: it feels as if time stands still when your alone
I should: pursue a new job harder
I can't: get the steps in order
Tomorrow: work on some errands
I cant wait until: right now
I miss: brandumb weenerhand's parents
I always: look for things and wait for things to happen
My parents: couldn't be any better
Someone: pays attention to me?
My friends: are the best i could ever hope for
Valentines Day: has nice choclate
Parties: are good if you can control the crowd
Why can't: things be simple
I don't want: to eat or sleep
I have to: get a move on
I will never: sell out
Marriage: can hurt more than help
Children: require a lot of dedication
It seems like: things are picking up
I dread: dead ends
School: rock and roll
The best food: is best when you learn to make it yourself
Eventually: we will see the end result of all the depravity
Everyday: we come and go
Rarely: is there enough for everyone
I still cannot decide: how deep to go in
I am hoping: to keep the train rolling
The suspense: makes me feel alive
It turns out: we have a long road ahead
Everything: can be fixed and broken again

pro wrestling (yech!) hall of fame weekend

This past weekend the schoebrocks and I set out for amsterdam new york for the pro wrestling hall of fame weekend. Originally when we bought the tickets we were under the impression the Macho Man randy savage would be in attendance (due to his induction) We later learned the top wrestlers rarely attend the weekend ceremony.
We prepared to meet several huge wrestling stars such as Nick Bockwinkle, paul orndorff chief jay strongbow, mae young, the wild samoans, superfly jimmy snuka, captain lou albano, george the animal steele amongst others.

We arrived to amsterdam friday evening and it was the smallest "city" i'd ever been to. One way streets plagued any reasonable navigation. We weren't able to stay in the nice hotel with the wrestlers so arhmand reserved a room at the "rock hotel" there was an indy show in a high school gym featuring some rcw stars I hadn't seen in years like big papa chill and IB green. Also shockwave the robot wrestled. Judas young was featured as well. The main event stars were chico santana and brutus the beefcake (lame lame lame) Both dudes wanted loot for signatures. The event was good however the audience consisted of people literally smelling like shit. I wish I had known judas young because I was pretty shure I had a picture of him in a magazine.

After the show we barely found our hotel which was a crappy motel on a hill. bates motel. We went up to the window and rang the bell, an old man behind a glass asked for 45 dollars we gave it to him , no ID's no deposit nothing. We went into our room and immediately broke out laughing at the big round bed in the middle of the room. We decided to leave and go hang out at the nice hotel with the wrestlers.

We found the hotel met nick bockwinkle and jj dillon. A lot of autograph seeking fans were present and the brags they made and things they tried to get us to believe were ridiculas. I was outside when a kid my age approached me and said "Im not from around here, where do you get stuff?" I said Im not from around here either but I saw a domino's pizza. I walked him to the pizza shop and he said "this is not the kind of stuff I'm looking for"

I told him "if your looking for drugs you should go to my motel, there were tons of kids outside smoking and drinking man" I learned this kid, Tim, was in a rehab in the mountains and he got kicked out. They put him up in the nice hotel while they decided if he could go back or not. I told him "you would have more fun at our hotel and we would have more fun at your hotel." He agreed but only on the stipulation that he scored his drugs. I told him to talk to a shady looking indy wrestler who told us Judas Young had the drugs

the kid tim started talking to judas and it looked like everything was going well then tim started putting on the pressure about getting the shit and judas wanted to chill with his buddies. Then they started arguing and they told tim to leave and threatened him. I was just standing there like "oh no these are wrestlers oh no!" We left and went to the hotel where no one was outside. Earlier tons of people were out drinking and smoking but at 2 30 am no on was in sight. We wanted tim to find the drugs so I told him to try the room next door and he starts pounding on their door and window. the schoebroecks and I went in our room and I sat on the bed. Squish squish it was a water bed!... no way we could sleep in a water bed , this kid better find some drugs! Tim pounded and yelled on the other door with no luck then he started pounding on EVERY DOOR AT THE MOTEL!!!!
We sat in the car with the lights down as tim pounded on all the doors of the motel. eventually he found a puerto rican kid to talk to. and it looked like things were going well. then the owner of the motel came out and started looking around for the person who was banging on all the doors and windows. He talked to tim and then he came up to our car and asked us if we did it. We said we didnt know tim or what he was doing. The he left and came back with our 45 dollars and he demanded we give the key back.

then we waited for tim to get back from his drug run and we told him the bad news that we lost our room and he said we could stay with him in his room
we got back to his room watched him smoke crack and tried to sleep
to be continued

how about a new survey

Do you think it is disgusting for girls to drink alcohol and get drunk?
i don't think anything is disgusting , it's a personal choice

Has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/​​girlfriend with you?

When's the last time you fell asleep watching a movie?
lindsey put on an anime movie zzzzzzz

What's on your mind?
laundry which i am in CHARGE OF

UPDATED washer was broken floor covered in water

Are you counting down for anything?
ok, saturday is a bludwulf show and sunday i meet ox baker

Do you use bobby pins or barrettes or neither?
just good old murray's pomade

Which do you like better: checkerboard, plaid, or zebra print?
checkerboard is better graphically

Are you scared that fish will bite your feet when you swim at a lake/beach?
no, but maybe i should be i've seen some huge fish washed up with sharp teeth

Do you own anything that's tie-dyed?
no way

What's your favorite breakfast meal?
something meaty, probably leftovers

Have you ever jumped off of something really high?
YES Iroquois middle school, like a story and a half high

Do you call it fall or autumn?
fall or halloween

Are you feeling guilty about anything right now?
yes flooding the basement

Who/what is the last thing you kicked?

When's the last time you had fast food?
micey d's golden arches smoothie and fries. NO wendy's nuggets and frosty

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
no unless i fall and kiss the pavement

Will you be in a relationship next month?

Are you wearing any clothes that don’t belong to you?

Your last kiss from your ex what does it remind you of?
cant remember any such thing

What does your last text say?
to ian decay "yea"

What are your initials?

Are you texting anyone?
no its expensive i think

Do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?

Have you ever given a random person your number?
no but i told max to in canada

When was the last time you saw the last person you kissed?
this morning

Have you ever slapped someone in the face?
yes a few

Did you kiss/hug anyone last week?

How many cellphones have you had?

Do you believe that there's good in everybody?

What makes you happy most of the time?
ring of honor and the necro butcher ahahahahha

Do you have any siblings?
a little one.

What are/were you doing at 12 this afternoon?
deciding if i should use a laundry machine that says "out of service washer works , drain slow"

Do you get distracted easily?
no, unless i want to

What did you do last night?
watched mr novak and south park went grocery shopping and ate a white pizza (frozen) (cooked) just hung out with lindsey while she watched her shows and finished my jimmy hart book

Does it matter if your boyfriend/​​girlfriend smokes or chews?
yes i think it's silly and bad for you but i dont like to tell people what to do

Are you wearing a necklace?

Would you hug the last person you hugged again?
yes but sometimes she pinches!!!

Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
i did and i enjoy being barefooted outside wild somoan style

What color are your eyes?

Will this weekend be a good one?
yes bludwulf/faggot show, public market ,and ox baker, and wwe pay per view and seeing all my friends

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
wow thats good question

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?

When you have a drink with ice do you usually eat all the ice before you're done?
its like a 50 50 chance

When you hear about a band do you download a billion songs by them to see if you like them?

When your gum runs out of flavor do you throw it out or stick it somewhere?
stick it

When you're in the car, and you eat something with a wrapper, do you throw the wrapper out of the window?
yes i do sometimes SORRY

(no subject)

Are you ready for some questions that you barely find in other surveys?
ive been waiting for one

Do you have clothes that belong to other people?
hmm, no, they were given to me for keeps

If so, who's?
max browns and ian decays specifically...well to rephrase the question i have shirts in my posession i am giving away to my friend jim. does that apply?

What would you do if the last person you hugged knocked on your door?
i would say what are you doing home from work

Is anyone mad at you?
of course not i live my life trying to stay out of other people's business

Look down, what do you see?

Look to the right, whats at the very end?
popcorn machine old lamp salt rock lamp

Look to the left, whats at the very end?
big cat tree, puke, zoltan, bela lugosi life mask

When you take a shower, do you wash the top part of your back?
hell no

What was the last thing you ate?
bill grays

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before?
c j coffin, has never been mad at me he thinks im too funny

How old do you wish you would die?

Who's the ugliest person you know?
some kid who works at the hospital

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
the stupid egg dummy

What time did you go to sleep last night and why?
wow, early i remember it being early like only like 2 am or 3 i watched the roast of larry the cable guy then i watched the critic and i got tired, i went to bed really early

What was the last swear word that you said?
probably shit as in refference to "some shit like that"

Have you ever tried to break a couple up?
i've advised people in that direction

Has anyone masturbated to your picture before?
my self esteem isn't high enough for me think anyone would want to

Are you usually the first to say sorry when you're in a fight, or the last?
first yea

Have you ever stayed up at night waiting for someone to call/text you back?
no, i do my own thing

When will be the next time you text someone?
hopefully not soon i don't think its covered by my plan

Can you type 60 words in one minute?
lets say....yes or no

Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail and what was it about?
max brown, i want to watch roh video wires with him

Is there a high chance of you going to the movies soon?
not unless they make another indiana jones movie soon

Who was the last person you narrowed your eyes at?
some white cap probably

Who was the last person to give you a random compliment?
a hispanic guy about my hair

Have you ever touched a dead body?
sadly no

Do you do the dishes for fun sometimes?
what the hell are you talking about

Rather lose your virginity to your first true love or the hottest person?
True love

Who was the last person to steal anything of yours?
i let someone borrow something and they lost it does that count, pocket knife, ian decay

Would you have sex with a bum for 10 grand?

Who were the last people you played electronic games with?
whats an electronic game

What would you do if the last person you kissed turned lesbian/gay?
shes bi so i wouldn't be stunned

Do people ask you for cigarettes?

What do you think about cocaine?
people seem pretty infatuated by it so there must be something to it

If God gave you only $10 to eat for a day, what would you buy?
some frozen bag stir fry from walmart

How much money did you spend today?
2.60 something on cookies
9.60 something at bill grays

Are you an independent person?
one hundred and ten percent

Ice cream with waffles or brownies?
brownies please

What did you do today?
ok, woke up went to school went to the mall, collected cans, went to lunch came home

Lyrics stuck in your head?
no not today

If this survey had 50 more questions after this question would you continue?
yes, thank you

is this fun for anyone?

1. Are you dating the person you text most?
my girfriend and i talk in real life not on toy phones, ian decay texts me the most

2. When is your birthday?
june 25th

3. What do you want?
a satsifying and free exsistance

4. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?
lovely lindsey and great cats tonto and butchard

5. Do you talk to yourself?
i preform little skits to myself

6. Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
only ONLY if i can finish the whole carton/jug

7. Who knows a dark secret or two about you?
anybody who reads this and knows i watch Roseane at 5 am

8. How long is your hair?
my pompodore is only like 6 inches now and the rest is lest than and inch or two

9. Do you like Batman?
any superhero is cool , preffer marvel heroes

10. When is your mothers birthday?
near valentines day????

11. Who did you last hug?

12. Do you swear at your parent(s)?

13. Do you like anyone now?
i like everyone,, i only like like one person whos named lindsey

14. When was the last time you lied?
prolly on the job

15. When was the last time you cried?
the wrestler

16. Is your birthday on a holiday?
yes exact opposite of christmas (the devils holiday)

17. What instant messaging service do you use?

18. Last thing you cooked?
twice baked potatoes and chicken in a pan with JR's bar b q rub (didnt turn out well ,,,especially potatoes!)

19. Did you have a nap today?
yes i got home from work at 6 am layed down couldn't sleep. went out and slept the afternoon till 5

20. Whose house did you go to last?
cory and josh

21. What are you currently listening to?
felix the cat on tv

22. Why is the sky blue?
earth's atmosphere reflecting light

23. Do you like green beans?
I never used to but over the past year I have come to accept them with lot of butter

24. Do you swear a lot?
25. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
ring of honor

26. Do you have any regrets?
i live in the moment

27. Do you use an alarm clock?
just my phone but i want to buy this...

28. Where are you?
living rooom

29. Do you ever snort when you laugh?

30. Whats the first thing you notice on the opposite sex?

31. Is cheating ever okay?

32. Do you want someone you cant have?

33. What is your natural hair color?

34. Do you wear underwear?

35. Who/What would you like to see right now?
necro butcher and ring of honor

36. What is your mood right now?
good because i like to stay up late watching cartoon and drinking root beer

37. Are you a social or antisocial person?

38. Do you have any piercings or tattoos?

39. Do you plan on getting any(more)?
ive always wanted a tattoo never knew what to get

40. Do you believe in God?

41. What kind of phone do you have?
sprinte cheapest one available

43. What radio station(s) do you listen to?
102.7 oldies (not a good radio station)

44. What is your current annoyance?
not having enough time
45. Are you afraid of the dark?
when it's spooky

47. Do you miss someone today?
no, saw enough people for one day

48. What is the most random thing you will find in your room?
me, because i usually sleep on the couch because i fall asleep watching tv

49. Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
at my parents house probably

50. Last person who told you your problems were going to be okay?
i usually tell that to everyone else

1. Is there someone you know you should hate, but you can't?:
its bad to hate

2. Do you like someone as more than a friend right now?:
all my friends are my brothers

3. What does your 8th text say?

4. Have you ever lost anybody close to you?:
grandparents, eddie guerrero and paul newman

5. Is there anyone you trust even though you should not?
i know who to trust with what

6. Ever given your all to someone who walked away?:
no, thankfully. that sounds terrible

7. Relationship or hookup?

8. Few close friends or many acquaintances?:

9. Ever loved someone that wasn't good for you?

10. How's your heart lately?
good! sad i dont have enough quality time for my baby

11. The last song you listened to?:
black lips new album

12. If you could change your name to anything what would it be?:
really like the name pat but it's not for me

13. What do you hate about your school?
love damon campus, brighton campus is too uptight, too much like high school

14. Would you move to another country to be with the one you love?:

15. Which one of your friends do you think would make a good prostitute?
josh, because hes a dummy and wouldn't get emotional about it

16. Are you afraid of falling in love?:

17. fill in the gap. i love ____

18. What are you wearing right now?:
plain white shirt and jeans

19. Right or Left?:

20. Favorite juice?:
v r fushion

21. Have you had the chicken pox?:
yes (and my chicken pox fell off on the bread at wegmans!!!) ewww

22. Ever been to Mexico?:
No would love to, dig their blankets

23. Are you a forgiving person?:
very easily

24. Are you talking to someone while doing this?
no its 6 30 am

25. What school plays were you part of in elementary school?:
an eskimo story

26. What do you want to do with your life?

27. If a bear attacked you, would you know how to defend yourself?

28. Do you think it would be more fun to model or to shoot the photographs?:
both, but i really love graphic design and setting up the shots

29. Are you younger than 21?:
23 and three quarters dude

30. Do you like winter?:
its visually nice but cant stand being cold
31. Are you in a relationship?:

32. Do you like fruit?:
Yes but not it's seedyness

33. How clean is your room?:
spotless (all my junks in the living room)

34. What are you excited for?
sandiego this summer, ring of honor in toronto, pro wrestling hall of fame, making my movie,

35. Do you have feelings for anyone?:

36. Do you fall for guys/girls easily?